THANK YOUs!

In the past few days I've attempted to get updates to most everyone for whom I have an Email address! And some of you have already sent money for Christopher's Legal Fund!

So THANK YOU to:

Rebecca, Matthew & Quinn

Jenn

Karen J.

Sassey

Justin

The Wolfs

Lauren

Danielle

Leslee, John, Riley, Jacob & Julia

Rich & Michele

Karla

Deborah

Dirk & Sarah

Kate

If I got any names wrong, please let me know!

And I just heard that a group in NY is doing a 50/50 raffle and that a group in AZ will be doing a fundraiser!

More THANK YOUs coming soon

I have been working to get updates out to folks with the URL of this blog and, already, several friends have responded with donations and promises of donations.

I've had tears of appreciation in my eyes all morning!

Thank you!

Had to fire our attorney this morning

No fun.

I tried to give her every opportunity to step up to the plate, but it wasn't happening. Finally, after her not calling this weekend (as I requested) and not being available for an 8am conference (she scheduled!) with me this morning, I had to be done. Enough negligence is enough.

She is selectively remembering discussions she had with me. She failed to request the hearing transcripts in a timely manner (though we discussed the necessity of having the transcripts on 2/19!) She failed to file a motion we discussed, claiming it moot. She delayed filing a key stipulation for over a week. She has filed two pleadings rife with errors (not even able to keep straight which party I am). And now, due to the fee amount I have outstanding, she is refusing to file further, very necessary papers with the court on my behalf. She makes it sound as if I could pay her some huge, lump sum of money, that she'd then care about Christopher...

I do still owe her $14-15k and I had told her that I will pay that as soon as I am able. I have already paid her about $6k ($3,300 of that in March alone!), but it is not enough to get her to represent me in any manner akin to zealous. In fact, she is impossible to contact; is not responding substantively to questions...she's just been DONE since the hearing on February 19th. I think she was so overwhelmed with the loss (I hope, at least, that she cared), that she has been unable to formulate any plan moving forward. Unfortunately, she is equally unable to accept my plan for moving forward.

If I can manage to hold my own, pro se, until the appeal, that might be good enough... Christopher deserves better than "good enough," but I have to work with what I've got and right now that's just me!

It was a wonderful 48 hours!

It was short, but so very nice.

Christopher got to Denver about 7pm on Friday night. He'd had pajama day at his "new, new" school in Santa Fe and w

as quite sunburned. He was more than a little over-the-top aggressive and such, but finally settled down. We had tacos for dinner and got in some car races.

Saturday we

celebrated it being the Vernal Equinox--the first day of Spring! So we had some candy and did egg hunts. Over the weekend, I think we managed to fit in 5 egg hunts!

We had poached eggs for breakfast and then went shopping for Saffron's birthday gift. That was a fun adventure that did net us some stuff we wanted to give her--most notably a wooden bracelet as part of a card. Christopher said that he wanted her to wear it from him because he loves her! He really has the biggest heart.

Saffron's birthday party was too fun! We went to the Buntport Theatre and saw the Trunks

show and Christopher absolutely LOVED it. He is still talking about Trixie, aka The Germ. Actually, he is pretending to BE Trixie! Saffron and Scott were dressed to the 9s as martians with green faces and orange space jumpsuits. After the play, there were games and fab cake and an Earth pinata. We left tired, but warned him that G'Mo was coming over so he should stay awake! We had dinner with Grandma Mo--BBQ chicken and sweet potato fries! And the wild child was asleep by around 8:30.

Sunday was a slow morning. Christoph was up by about 7am, but came in to snuggle with me. And then just had to wake up Grandma! We had blueberry pancakes and then headed outside for bubbles, more egg-hunting, scooter-riding and such. Gwen was the evil, bubble villian and

Christopher saved me! It was sunny and warm and just gorgeous out today--almost hit 80 degrees. Tacos for lunch and Schoolhouse Rock with chunky monkey for dessert and Hammy and I crashed and had a nice afternoon nap together in the living room.

More "Trunks" play; some Thomas train time. Then we had grilled cheese and lentil soup for dinner and had to take a quick bath so that Christopher could be in his PJs and ready for Bevin to pick him up at 7pm. While still in the tub, Christopher started to realize he was leaving and didn't want to go. He told Bevin he didn't want to go to New Mexico and cried as Bevin carried him out. That was really rough. I tried to convince him that he's going to have a fun week at school, but his reaction hit me hard. I hate this. I hate lying to him. I hate trying to make it easier for Bevin to steal my son, but I have to try to make it easier for Christopher. I must do whatever will help Christopher.

Legal, Cost, Etc. Update

Some new costs are in. I have to pay the court reporter $1200 for the transcript and it seems we must have that to proceed. I've given them a deposit of $750 for now. I also got a bill from the CFI and owe her about $300 thus far (after paying a $1750 retainer last month). And I'm about to have to pay the psychologist $900 this coming week once she completes her report. Yikes, huh?!

Have had some discussions with Bevin. That's not going well. He's not wanting to give me agreed-upon time with Christopher even. And he keeps delving into our past relationship in really emotionally raw ways that just knee-cap me for a bit.

My attorney continues to be largely unavailable. Maybe she's trying to save me money, but it's completely disconcerting. I need her. She has been clear that she is nervous about how much I owe her, but I really am doing all I can.

Did get to talk to another attorney to review some of what we've done thus far in the case. It was a great discussion. She was an attorney in NY and she's a total intellectual. And, emotionally, I really, really needed to hear her shock over what's happening; where the case has gotten in all of this. And that consultation was free...We love her!

Other than that, I continue to work on and think about all of the issues in this custody case night and day. I'm pretty stressed out, but I just feel like there's not enough time to get everything done that must be done. I have to get my baby back!

HUGE thanks to Bonny for all her hard work and to Tim for his perfect, consoling way of offering a hug...even long distance!

I get to see Christopher tonight!

My biggest news is that Christopher will be home in about an hour!  I'll have him for two days so that he can go to Saffron's birthday party tomorrow.

I'm really, really excited to see him.  It's only been 5 days, but it seems like forever.

We'll go shopping in the morning to get Saffron a gift and card.  Or maybe we'll make a card.  I'm not sure what Christopher will want to do, so I'll leave that open for now.

I just can't wait to hold him!!!

Christopher is now in New Mexico

I delivered him on Sunday to Bevin in Santa Fe. I was there less than 24 hours. I and Bevin were outwardly civil and that was beyond surreal. How can I be polite to this monster that is stealing my baby? But it's necessary for Christopher. I still don't believe he really understands what is happening at all. I went to his new school there and stayed for about two hours this morning. I do very much like the school and it follows my parenting beliefs and style much more closely than Bevin's (no corporal punishment, no removal of food, no isolation, no yelling, organic foods, reusable containers, focus on dance and art, etc.) Knowing that they will have as much time with Christopher as Bevin is helping me cope a little.

What I really wanted to say to Bevin was, "You're stealing my baby and you know you are wrong!" But I really was unable to say much at all. I mostly just tried not to cry the whole time. I keep thinking I can't cry any more and then I do. Nothing seems to make sense.