Ok, here are some more THANK YOUs!

*Maureen (aka Grandma Mo or G'Mo)

*More from Tim (aka Papa Tim)

*Shell, Bob, Zack and Chloe (aka Auntie Shell, Uncle Bob and cousins Zack and Chloe)

My attorney has indicated that I need to get her $3,500.00 to move forward.  Everyone's help is adding up, but this is a LOT.  I appreciate all you can do and I remain indebted to all of you for your love and support!

THANK YOU...and this is just the beginning!

Many of you have already responded with financial help and I feel very blessed to have support from such wonderful people!

I hope to get individual "thank yous" out to all of you, but I want to immediately recognize those who have already donated and give you a public THANK YOU here!

*Tim (aka Papa Tim)

*Scott, Shannon & Saffron (Christopher's girlfriend and her parents--check out the pix!)

*Eric, Christie & Kimberly

*David, Kristine & Arena (Auntie Kristine, Uncle David and cousin Arena)

*Jane (Auntie Jane)

*Rick (Uncle Rick)

*Trevor & Angel

*Skip (Uncle Skip...because he's too young to accept Grand-anything!)

*Bill

It's really my M.O. to turn down help. I'm not good at accepting support of any kind. Financial support is exponentially harder. But that's ego. And this endangerment to Christopher is so much bigger than my ego. And, very bluntly, I do need the help. I don't have the money to pay for this legal battle. So, I have to be more than willing to accept help. I need to ASK for help and I need to welcome help.

That's what I've done and you have answered. I feel how so many of you are hurting along with me in this. I know you want to help. I know that I honor you in accepting your help. And, most of all, I know we all show our love for Christopher in focusing on him as the most important and completely innocent center of this storm.

I am blessed and Christopher is blessed to have your love and friendship. THANK YOU!

BTW, if you wanted to be anonymous, my apologies in advance. Please drop me a call or message and I'll remove your name.

What's the money for?

So, after giving my attorney a retainer, I then pay hourly for her time on the case. I also have to pay hourly rates for her associate and her paralegals and other staff. And we've consulted with an expert, which was an hourly fee. And there was the mediator cost. And the investigator charged a retainer and is also charging an hourly fee. And there's always more it seems.

Things you can help pay for:

$2,000=retainer for my attorney (borrowed money)

$200=one hour of time for my attorney to work to help me keep Christopher

$650=retainer for mediator

$1,750=retainer for Child & Family Investigator

$200=one hour of time for the Investigator (I need to double-check this number)

$300=pre-hearing expert consultation

$1,800=psych evaluation estimated cost (required $900 in advance)

$1,200=trial transcript for two days of hearing (doesn't include final hearing!)

My legal bills are nearing $20,000 already. It's completely overwhelming.

Phone Calls

I do truly LOVE hearing from everyone and I want to keep you updated, but...

Right now I have nearly no voice at all. I caught some crud from Christopher last week, then I spent all of the 19th on the stand testifying and, afterward, crying.

So I'm not answering the phone much as no one can really hear me. Really! I hope I'll be recovered soon, but give me just a few days!

Thank You & HELP!

So many have written or called with supportive, caring words. I appreciate all of you more than I can ever say!

As this continues further, the costs keep rising. I would love to be able to refuse financial help, but many have offered and the clear truth is that Christopher and I do genuinely need and appreciate that help.

I am working as a contract attorney on a review project right now. However, I have some pretty big attorney bills. I also have to pay for an expert opinion, for mediation, for the Investigator and for the psychologist. Each of these costs are by the hour and continue to grow.

As I said before, Lori and Jim were able to loan me the funds for the initial attorney retainer. And then, Bonny and Michael followed in quick succession with a GIFT of money for legal costs. And Tim has recently given me money and is planning to give even more along with Skip. And now I recently heard from Bill that he is sending a gift too.

Then Lilith said, get a PayPal donation button. And thus was born this blog and it's PayPal link (which is on the main blog page and is associated with nowellesq@comcast.net). But I must mention that it was only possible by the work of Scott!

So... THANK YOU to all of you who have loaned, donated, brainstormed and worked to help Christopher and me get this far and make it possible for us to get to a bright and shining new day at the end of this nightmare!

AND for anyone willing and able, please consider donating even a small amount. Every little bit adds up to helping me get my son back. Thank you in advance!

And if you want to mail something instead of using PayPal, just shoot me an Email so I can give you my full mailing address.

History so far of Custody Battle

Bevin was offered a higher paid job in North Carolina. He asked me to move with Christopher with him to NC. That seemed, er...tricky, given our relationship having ended badly, not great communication and not the most positive feelings all around. But I considered what it would take. In the end, it would have taken more trust and money than we could have mustered and so that thought never got off the ground and Bevin threatened to file for relocation with Christopher. It was not a hollow threat. He did it. He filed to take my son away from me on December 3rd, 2008.

I contacted an attorney immediately and began working to borrow money for the retainer. HUGE thanks go out for those early loans from Lori and Jim (who I still need to and WILL repay!) We filed an answer. Bevin filed for an investigator, then withdrew the motion. On February 6th, we had the first hearing in the case at which Bevin put forth his side. On February 19th, we had the second hearing in the case at which I got a start in putting forth my side.

The Magistrate Judge is looking at lifestyle, income and parenting styles. After the first hearing, the Court ordered an investigator. After preliminary investigation, the investigator found no child endangerment, only a happy child and recommended AGAINST relocation pending the full investigation. The MJ did not follow that recommendation and has awarded Bevin full custody pending the final investigation report. These are temporary orders and can last up to 60 days. During these 60 days I get only 4 weekend visits with Christopher--two in Colorado and two in North Carolina.

It's clear to me that Bevin has been planning this for some time. He has put on quite a show of emotion (and blatant lies) for the MJ, more than intimating that I was horrible; abusive toward him during our relationship (how insane is that?) Further, his income and career seem to impress both the MJ and the Investigator and they impute some desire not to work or some desire to not have income (?!) to me. Finally, Bevin's more "traditional" parenting style (corporal punishment, forced "manners," etc.) versus my belief in Attachment Parenting (no corporal punishment, more intuitive, child-lead, love-based discipline philosophy) has also scored him points with this totally biased Magistrate Judge.

At this juncture, I am dependent on the Investigator and on the psych. evals to help to show that I'm a good Mother and that I don't deserve to lose my child.

Yes, this is insane. A non-biologically related parental figure is taking a child from his biological mother that loves him and stayed home with him for nearly three years. I have never shown Christopher anything but love. I protect him from anything that I would consider a physical or psychological danger. I breast fed him for over two years. I feed him fresh food from organic ingredients. He love veggies. He is kind and has sweet, close friends. We read and play and have so much fun together.

I am devastated. I don't understand the Court. I don't understand Bevin. I don't even recognize this Bevin as anyone I've ever known. This is going to be absolutely traumatic for Christopher. He is going to be ripped away from everything he has ever known and taken somewhere completely foreign. Without me for support, I don't know what this is going to do to him. Right now he is a social, imaginative, kind, energetic boy. I cringe to think what Bevin is willing to do to him; how far he will go to feed his resentment and hatred of me. I am beside myself with worry for how Christopher will handle this shock. I am, for myself, feeling horribly lost in this world that would take my baby away from me.

I'm having a crisis of faith of every sort...save one. I have been hugely supported by love and friendship and generosity. I have had friends who have faithfully called to check in on me in these months, who have helped brainstorm, who have volunteered to be witnesses and have waited for full days to speak for me and Christopher in Court. The MJ has thus far been unwilling to listen to my witnesses, but I have hope the Investigator will be willing!

My mission right now is to open myself to the rest of the process. I want the Investigator to go over me, my life, my relationships, my home, everything with a fine tooth comb because I know I will come up as nothing but a good Mom. The mud Bevin has been slinging must get cleaned off so that the Court and its appointees can focus on what really matters--Christopher!