I contacted an attorney immediately and began working to borrow money for the retainer. HUGE thanks go out for those early loans from Lori and Jim (who I still need to and WILL repay!) We filed an answer. Bevin filed for an investigator, then withdrew the motion. On February 6th, we had the first hearing in the case at which Bevin put forth his side. On February 19th, we had the second hearing in the case at which I got a start in putting forth my side.
The Magistrate Judge is looking at lifestyle, income and parenting styles. After the first hearing, the Court ordered an investigator. After preliminary investigation, the investigator found no child endangerment, only a happy child and recommended AGAINST relocation pending the full investigation. The MJ did not follow that recommendation and has awarded Bevin full custody pending the final investigation report. These are temporary orders and can last up to 60 days. During these 60 days I get only 4 weekend visits with Christopher--two in Colorado and two in North Carolina.
It's clear to me that Bevin has been planning this for some time. He has put on quite a show of emotion (and blatant lies) for the MJ, more than intimating that I was horrible; abusive toward him during our relationship (how insane is that?) Further, his income and career seem to impress both the MJ and the Investigator and they impute some desire not to work or some desire to not have income (?!) to me. Finally, Bevin's more "traditional" parenting style (corporal punishment, forced "manners," etc.) versus my belief in Attachment Parenting (no corporal punishment, more intuitive, child-lead, love-based discipline philosophy) has also scored him points with this totally biased Magistrate Judge.
At this juncture, I am dependent on the Investigator and on the psych. evals to help to show that I'm a good Mother and that I don't deserve to lose my child.
Yes, this is insane. A non-biologically related parental figure is taking a child from his biological mother that loves him and stayed home with him for nearly three years. I have never shown Christopher anything but love. I protect him from anything that I would consider a physical or psychological danger. I breast fed him for over two years. I feed him fresh food from organic ingredients. He love veggies. He is kind and has sweet, close friends. We read and play and have so much fun together.
I am devastated. I don't understand the Court. I don't understand Bevin. I don't even recognize this Bevin as anyone I've ever known. This is going to be absolutely traumatic for Christopher. He is going to be ripped away from everything he has ever known and taken somewhere completely foreign. Without me for support, I don't know what this is going to do to him. Right now he is a social, imaginative, kind, energetic boy. I cringe to think what Bevin is willing to do to him; how far he will go to feed his resentment and hatred of me. I am beside myself with worry for how Christopher will handle this shock. I am, for myself, feeling horribly lost in this world that would take my baby away from me.
I'm having a crisis of faith of every sort...save one. I have been hugely supported by love and friendship and generosity. I have had friends who have faithfully called to check in on me in these months, who have helped brainstorm, who have volunteered to be witnesses and have waited for full days to speak for me and Christopher in Court. The MJ has thus far been unwilling to listen to my witnesses, but I have hope the Investigator will be willing!
My mission right now is to open myself to the rest of the process. I want the Investigator to go over me, my life, my relationships, my home, everything with a fine tooth comb because I know I will come up as nothing but a good Mom. The mud Bevin has been slinging must get cleaned off so that the Court and its appointees can focus on what really matters--Christopher!
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