Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Looking toward...NM Visit-OCT 3rd Wknd

I'll get to see Christoph for just about 60 hours this coming weekend. I wish it ever felt like enough time. I look forward to it and think about him constantly for the two weeks between visits, but once I am with him I feel nauseous with the countdown to good-bye. I hate my life. I hate that my son's childhood can now never be the wonderful, magickal time I wanted for him. I couldn't stop my baby being taken away. I'm a failure as a mother.


3 comments:

  1. No, not a failure. This is something well beyond your control and that does not make you a failure. Failing would be giving up altogether and letting him go. Chin up. You are, without a doubt, the best part of his life.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I agree with Jane. I alos don't think very much of this bevin character

    ReplyDelete
  3. You are not a failure. You. Are. Not. A. Failure. You are one of the strongest women I know and Christopher is lucky to have you as his Mom!

    ReplyDelete