Clarity

I am so necessarily involved in the intellectual and legal arguments that I perhaps forget to be clear about the basics in communicating with people lately and I thought it would be worthwhile for me to take a stab at some clarification.

I wanted to have a baby for years before I had Christopher. I made a lot of life changes to prepare for him. I made huge diet changes and took herbs and herbal teas and such. Bevin was up for co-parenting with me and all was ideal for a time. We were in love, we were happy, we were excited about Colorado. We agreed I'd be a stay-at-home Mom for 5 years and that started off well, even though it did backfire. We co-parented as a couple for 2.5 years and we continued to co-parent reasonably well after splitting up for another year. I never had then, nor do I have now an intention to remove Bevin from Christopher's life.

Unfortunately, Bevin went on the attack. He wasn't satisfied with his income in Denver and accepted an out-of-state job. I begged him to do otherwise, but he made that choice. He then filed for full custody to take Christopher out of Colorado and away from me.

Bevin is a psychological parent. He has not properly asserted the underlying facts for the Court to recognize him as such, but, in my mind, he clearly passes any psychological parent test in any jurisdiction. I am on the defensive. And my primary claim is that when there is a fit, involved biological parent and a fit, involved psychological parent, that the biological parent's rights should take precedence. This takes no rights from non-biological/psychological parents; it is an assertion about priority of rights and it only makes sense.

But it's gotten much uglier than that. Bevin's claims against me; his mud-slinging... The CFI report... My claims against Bevin... And there is the fact that Tim, Christopher's other biological parent, is getting forgotten. Bevin and I promised Tim that he would be involved in Christopher's life; that we would be honest with Christopher; that Tim would have time with Christopher. It is all an ugly nightmare, but, in the end, the basic argument is whether or not, with no endangerment, do Bevin and I stand on equal footing before the Court?

And the BIG picture is that Christopher is going to mostly lose either Bevin or me. Bevin's choice to relocate put that into action and it is going to hurt Christopher no matter which way it goes. I believe that Christopher is too young to be ripped away from his mother and I also firmly believe that remaining in Colorado with the friends and family support he has known here since birth is what will be best for him. Bevin seems to believe that having to start over in a new place with no support and with little contact with his mother is best for Christopher.

I wanted to avoid all of this. I begged Bevin to think of Christopher and drop the motion; to leave Christopher with me and that he could come to see him every single weekend if he could. I also begged Bevin to just stay in Denver. Bevin refused and we are where we are and it is a painful place; a place I never imagined.

I have heard, even from Bevin, that it appears that my defense against him looks like I am trying to harm LGBT parental rights. I see that as FAR from the truth. I understand how important the concepts of psychological parent is to LGBT parental rights. In fact, I support the concept of psychological parent. When a child grows up with someone and forms a solid bond with them, that is a sacred thing. However, I'm not the one trampling that sacred bond. Bevin's actions have made it so that one of us must have a limited relationship with Christopher due, if nothing else, to physical distance. All I am arguing is that, if that must happen, that it should be Bevin because 1) he chose to cause the situation and 2) his rights as a psychological parent should not take precedence over my rights as a biological parent--as the only natural, bio and legal parent.

Why the Court cannot see this is unclear to me. I'm not blind; I know Bevin has spun a web of scary lies before the Court. But with all of Bevin's known lies and proven bad acts, how can the Court continue to believe him? How can the Court rip a child away from his mother with nothing more than conjecture and perjured testimony?

CFI Report

So the CFI Report will be coming out next week. And it's horribly negative.

I really misunderstood what she wanted or perhaps I just felt so freaked out from Court that I desperately wanted to make her understand the truth and I let that trump just letting her actually SEE the truth.

Truly, I don't know. She saw things that don't even exist, so I am just confused. The details are confidential (and too numerous to write here anyway). Reading it was surreal and just made me sit and shake and cry. Nothing makes any sense anymore. The world is upside down.

You're actually pulling it off, Bevin. I have always said that you were capable of anything you put your mind to. I never knew you'd put your mind to destroying Christopher and me. Even so, I won't give in. Christopher is my baby and I'm his Mommy and I will not give him up. Simple biology makes that impossible for me. And I can't let him lose his whole life here in Colorado--all his family and friends that love and support him. He deserves to keep that. He deserves a real life.

And, if a Mom doesn't fight for her child, what's really left in this world?

THANK YOUs!

Becca

Valerie, Bobby & Suzie

Ed

Eric, Christie & Kimberly-AGAIN!

Tristan & Colten

Sarah D.

Roze

Antigone

To this new list, I can only say, "wow." Each notification I get of a donation is so touching. And for so many of you, it's been far too long since we've really talked. I just cannot express what all of you mean to me and how very much I appreciate your support in this crisis!

Catch-up

Finally starting to get to that catch-up now that the bulk of the legal work is done. And just realized that I need to file my taxes ASAP. Yikes, that crept up behind me while I was completely focused on Christopher work!

All I can do now is send in the last few papers and hope the Court finally sees the truth. Is there justice in Colorado?

49 hours!

So I was lucky enough this past weekend to get 49 hours as Christopher arrived around 6pm on Friday.

It was fun and, yet,

it was a little

crazy. It was fun because we spent a ton of time playing trains and Batman and talking and seeing G'Mo. It was crazy because about 4 hours on Saturday was spent at Children's Hospital.

Christopher had shown me an injury on his left foot Friday evening. It was bruised some and swollen. Saturday morning it hurt more and he freaked out at the concept of shoes or even

socks. A call to the pediatrician's office told me that I should get it checked out if I was worried and Christopher's reactions definitely worried me. So...he'd had a broken toe for 6 days unbeknownst to anyone!

Of course, Bevin just tried to make me think I was overreacting, trying to make him look bad and there was never any cause to even get the x-ray. When I called Bevin so he could meet us at the Hospital, he cursed enough on the phone that I hung up on him. Then he threw a fit and had G'Mo and Gwen removed from the treatment room (actually they volunteered to go rather than escalate the situation) because he and G'Mo had words...

Anyway, Christopher got a stabilizing "shoe" to wear to isolate the toe and that seemed to help a lot. I don't know how he's doing now, though... That's the kind of stuff that is killing me lately. I can't even follow up on making sure an injury heals ok. I get next to no information.

I evened up his last haircut a bit and was able to clip all his fingernails. Got the toenails on the right foot, but not the left. Bevin never cuts his nails. And Christopher is quite the nose-picker, so he makes his nose bleed when his nails aren't cut.

Plus, the nails hold extra germs he shoves up his nose and then get's sick. Fun, huh? Well, these are the things one thinks about when you know just how awful it is to have a sick kiddo.

Ok, I'm just rambling tonight. Time to get back to work on the case. Lots to get done. I'm in the middle of a big push, so I've gotten a bit behind on Email again. I promise to catch up soon!

Happy, happy, joy, joy!

Christopher is here!!!

Amicus

Just a quick note...

I'm now in touch with two organizations that may be able to write amicus briefs in my case. One is a not-for-profit out of DC and one is a group of local women. I'm not going to name names, but if you know and associate with them, please be nice as they are trying to help!

I'm totally frustrated with where my case has gotten. I wish I could have had real help from the start. I wish my attorney had been willing to work harder to not lose my son. I'm lost in debt. I'm scared. I miss my baby. But I just have to believe that there is hope and that there will be help along the way and the fight will not last forever.

ONWARD!