Christopher is now in New Mexico

I delivered him on Sunday to Bevin in Santa Fe. I was there less than 24 hours. I and Bevin were outwardly civil and that was beyond surreal. How can I be polite to this monster that is stealing my baby? But it's necessary for Christopher. I still don't believe he really understands what is happening at all. I went to his new school there and stayed for about two hours this morning. I do very much like the school and it follows my parenting beliefs and style much more closely than Bevin's (no corporal punishment, no removal of food, no isolation, no yelling, organic foods, reusable containers, focus on dance and art, etc.) Knowing that they will have as much time with Christopher as Bevin is helping me cope a little.

What I really wanted to say to Bevin was, "You're stealing my baby and you know you are wrong!" But I really was unable to say much at all. I mostly just tried not to cry the whole time. I keep thinking I can't cry any more and then I do. Nothing seems to make sense.