The actual facts of the case are pretty clear. The feel, emotion, analysis, pre-formed judgment level is where it gets murky. I've been so reticent to pronounce the CFI biased. I thought she was stronger than that; more principled. I even began to have hope that the Magistrate too could overcome her initial bias. Who knows, perhaps she still can... How can I not hope?
I keep thinking back to the beginning of Law School and what lofty things I thought of Law and the Legal System. It's clear that corruption and bias and back room deals are enmeshed in politics. But the Law... I never thought it was perfect, but I really did believe that mistakes were usually made on bad information, that biased judges were rare, that wild juries could be kept in check, that the appeals process yielded fairness, that access to justice was possible for all... Now I see things I never, ever wanted to see.
But I still vote. And I'm still an attorney. I'm not licensed yet here in Colorado, but Law School does put "lawyer" into one's identity and I'm not sure I can recant that, even though it sounded really good for several years there... So I have to keep holding on to any shred of hope I can find. I have to have faith. And faith is believing in things not seen. I've not seen fairness. I've not seen Justice. I've not even seen stare decisis. But I have to keep faith alive. If only because Christopher deserves to live in a world that values those ideals and creates systems to protect them.
So I will keep the faith and I will find hope no matter how dark it is today. Or tomorrow.
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